Sunday September 25th, 2011 marks the date for the fifth annual WOCHINCO

From Cody Brown:

Every fall the greatest cyclists Ingham County has ever known gather to battle not only the elements, the roads, and other riders, but their own massive hangovers incurred the night before. On the hallowed roads of Mid-Michigan, where it all goes down, it will be determined who will wear the crown of 2011 World Champion of Ingham County. This year, with the 2010 winner Calves Johansen out of attendance, the door will be open for anyone to take the glory.

We will roll out from the Pavilion at 10am and ride an unpredetermined route for an undetermined distance (~four hours?) at very slow speeds (a.k.a. let's-all-be-friends pace). By the way, this is neither a real race nor a training ride--all are invited and encouraged to join us.

From Greg Christian:

Although geographical separation* prevents my participation in the fifth annual WOrld CHampionships of INgham COunty (WOCHINCO VI), I should like to take a bit of time to highlight the characteristics of this ride, its history, and its importance to the cycling club at Michigan State University. Most historians believe the first edition of WOCHINCO was held in the fall of 2007, though there is some evidence it may have actually begun in 2006. The ride was the brainchild of Mrs. Joseph Hartley and Bartholomew Carlson. Inspired by photographs of their favorite professional cyclists goofing off during off-season rides, the creators envisioned a local ride that shared many of the same characteristics. Surely, they thought, these pro cycling rides must involve sprinting for various landmarks along the route in addition to the antics caught on film, such as riders squirting each other with water bottles or making erotic poses with vegetables. Thus WOCHINCO was born, with the sprints forming an integral part of its character. Nearly everything about WOCHINCO---the distance, starting time, date, route, participants, scoring system, and so on---is in constant flux, always changing from year to year and, within a given year, subject to change at any moment, even during the ride. However, one thing is always constant - the sprints. WOCHINCO simply would not be WOCHINCO without a multitude of sprints for various objects - cracks in the road, stop ahead signs, mailboxes, imaginary points visible only to one rider, and much more.

In many ways, WOCHINCO is a ride of paradoxes. The sprints are fiercely contested, except perhaps for the secret sprints whose location is known only to a single rider, yet no one seems to care about their outcome (or at the very least, no one will admit to caring about the outcome). Despite this, excessive celebration, often involving the taunting of others, is common after a sprint win, and likewise, defeated riders often show great signs of outward frustration, for example shouting expletives and banging their handlebars with great force. The winner of WOCHINCO is determined in a way that no earthly being fully understands. Generally, it involves some combination of points accumulated in sprints during the ride and victory in the all-important Farm Lane stop ahead sign sprint on College Road that signals the end of competition. However, the scoring system changes from year to year, may change during a single year's event, and may even be different for different competitors.

This can lead to a variety of outcomes, such as a single uncontested winner, multiple winners, no winner at all, any combination of the aforementioned, and perhaps others.

Given the abstract and ever-changing nature of WOCHINCO, I am hesitant to continue further with my description. Instead, I shall call upon the annals of history and share with you some passages from the only two surviving WOCHINCO ride decriptions (WOCHINCO III, 2008 and WOCHINCO V, 2010):

"Unlike, most other races, there are no set fields, set distances, set course, prizes (other than pride, fame, and honor, of which there is more than any other known race), official start time, official end time, or official scoring. In addition, riders are allowed, and indeed encouraged, to compete in only parts of WOCHINCO if their schedule or fitness require it."

"Like the British legal system it [WOCHINCO] lacks a formal written set of rules and instead relies on common law to determine acceptable practices."

"Prior planning of the route is strictly forbidden."

"Alternative formats for the sprints are often used, such as stealth sprints where a rider tries not to alert anyone else of the impending competition until the last possible moment, fully secret sprints where only the winner even knows the sprint happened, or sprints between only a small subsection of the ride."

"Despite the long length, there are generally numerous intermediate sprints, the location of which are determined anywhere from 1 to 500 feet before it is reached by the first rider."

"There will be many, many intermediate sprints which may be announced anywhere from 0 to 100+ miles before the finishing point of the sprint."

"Sprinting for township signs is for Cat 5s, so don't do it (no offense intended to those who are actually Cat 5s)."

I hope that this electronic mail has given you all some insight into the nature of WOCHINCO and has encouraged everyone to participate.

Furthermore, please keep in mind that WOCHINCO is a living, organic, changing event, and that you, dear reader, have the ability to shape the event simply by attending and contributing to its history and its customs. As a final note, I would like to confirm a rumor which has been circulating about this year's edition of WOCHINCO, namely that one of the WOCHINCO creators, Mr. Bart Carlson, will be attending. To my knowledge, this rumor is absolutely true, and you all must take me at my word when I say that this makes it an edition you surely do not want to miss.